Where is it written?


  • What do I mean by where is it written?
  • Where is it written on how we should be doing things or how we should be living our lives or how we should be thinking?
  • Who has said it has to be done this way?
  • Where does it say we have to conform? Who are we pleasing? If you are content with who you are and how you are then this is great but if not…….

It’s a question that really resonated me with me when I was listening to the song from Yentl- ‘Where is it written’.

The film Yentl is one which tells the story of an Ashkenazi Jewish girl in Poland who decides to dress and live like a boy so she can receive an education after her father dies. She wants to create room for a new self-definition and new possibility instead of the one she was supposed to be. The issues around this and the ripple effect on people in her life at that point in time meant she becomes stuck in the new ‘life’ but still having to conform and be someone she knows is not enough and not her. She continually questions this and finally turns her back on that whole life and starts afresh in the way she wants to be rather than what is expected of her.

💠Over the years I’ve been looking outside of myself to find courses to give me the same qualifications as others in my coaching world, to join various networks to try and make myself fit in, be the same as everybody else and have others validate me.

💠It’s only in the last couple of years the realisation has dawned on me that I can be whoever I want to be and I don’t have to live the life that was set up for me when I was a child. Being told I was shy and a mummy’s girl, told I must change- be outgoing,  I must do this, I must fit in, I need to do that and don’t make a noise and all those things that shape our lives.

💠I never questioned the should and the must dos, but now I recognise all those layers stopped me from knowing who I was and how I had been fitting my personality to those around me’.

💠Realising I never actually knew who I was, was a big insight for me.

💠I had become (unconsciously)  what other people wanted, putting on a mask to please the other person/people, I made sure didn’t stand out, I tried be the same as everyone else.

💠That becomes exhausting and the various ‘disguises’ I had unconsciously manufactured means I never really relaxed with people.

💡But we are all different and unique.

Over the last few years I’ve been reading and listening to inspirational, motivational speakers and coaches: Steve Hardison, Steve Chandler, John Patrick Morgan, Darren Farfan, Rich Litvin to name a few.

💡I now recognise there is nothing written down to say we can’t do something.

Our reality is how we have made it and how we have manufactured it based on our childhood experiences.

What or who says we have to continually live that way?

💡We are the ones who have actually determined this, not someone else.

💡Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and recognise that nothing has been written down to say you can’t do something other than you own mind thinking you can’t.

(Please be mindful that there are areas in our life where we may need professional help to understand how and why we think a certain way or believe a certain thing.)

💠It brings to mind another author Ben Zander and the book called the Art of Possibility and the word impossible can be read as I’m possible.

If you can see this then let’s see where it takes you.

If you want more links to people I’ve mentioned, videos and a brilliant inspirational weekend coming up in Birmingham next May then please see links below in the comments

Thank you.


Neuroscientist: “This Simple Skill Will Keep You Motivated” Andrew Huberman


‘GET UP AND GET IT DONE’ David Goggins


John Patrick Morgan



The Ultimate Coach by Amy Hardison and Alan D Thompson

The Ultimate Experience Birmingham – TU BE 24 on May 24th and 25th 2024 Birmingham



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