Active or Inactive

Active or Inactive

Last year I left my eldest daughter at her new university house ready to start her 2nd year. My son went back to his university in Scotland to start his last year there. My youngest daughter passed her driving test and has now started her own journey into independence.

This year is a testing time for all of us.

There are lots of challenges for all.

I found today to be a moment of reflection… it has been a very bizarre time. There are two insects I use to symbolise where I am today.

  • The Dragonfly which signifies going past self-created illusions that has limited my growth and ability to change. It symbolises change, transformation, adaptability and self realisation. It only flies for a fraction of its life but exemplifies the virtue of living in the moment and living life to the fullest.
  • The Butterfly also symbolises the same but also shows the struggles it has to undergo in order to escape its cocoon to allow its wings to enlarge and be able to fly.

This made me look back at what I’ve been through over the years and the experiences and challenges I’ve faced.

  • Extreme shyness as a child and into adulthood
  • Going into a profession I didn’t particular want to do but did it because I couldn’t think what else to do and my family thought it was a good idea. (I was sick every morning for the first 3 to 6 months of my nursing course due to anxiety, and it was only when I left the hospital environment I realised those headaches I was having, stopped.
  • I dealt with the dying at the beginning of my career as well as throughout my personal life.
  • My first long term relationship was very emotional controlling.
  • I’ve been through marriage, divorce, children, house moves and job changes and I’m still changing.

My role in occupational health and coaching means I am faced with clients who are suffering with emotional negativity, unclear boundaries on how to get enjoyment out of their life and forever asking how do I feel I am living the life I really want. I find individuals are wanting to change their mindset, how then can improve and find their ‘mojo’. To establish a future they’ve dreamed of.

Last year was especially triggering for me.

There were a couple of anniversaries that were particularly poignant. My father died in October 2020 and my sister-in-law died a number of years ago from ovarian cancer (she was only in her mid-50’s). (At the same time my brother was also diagnosed with tonsil cancer but fortunately successfully treated.) The suddenness of both these deaths brought to mind a sentence my brother said to me:

“We had planned to do so much.”

This has haunted my ever since.

  • If you can take action today – take action, do it!
  • If you are planning something – do it, stop making excuses!
  • Live your life now, don’t live someone else’s.
  • Don’t find out when it’s too late and you end up saying “I wish I had done…”
  • Don’t put your life on hold because it seems too difficult, or too much to do now.

Be able to say I didn’t let fear stop me from doing something I wanted to do, I took action and found out what I wanted and did it. I made it happen.

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